is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
