fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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