Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
