it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
