it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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