she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
