she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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