I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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