You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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