Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
