I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
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