You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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