I have demons in me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
