We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
