I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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