Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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