drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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