I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
