You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
