I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
