I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
