Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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