god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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