cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
