so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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