i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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