where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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