Duck Duck Cougar?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize