This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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