He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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