i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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