I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
