any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
