none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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