The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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