I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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