I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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