they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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