dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
