weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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