I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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