i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
