Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
