my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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