she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
