I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Farmville is her only friend.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
