Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
