took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize