So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
