I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
