Cold hands, warm shart.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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