Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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