I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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