I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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