haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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