i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
