You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
