Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
