he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
