This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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