your thong is hanging out like whoa
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
