Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
