So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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