The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
