i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
