I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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