i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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