I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
