so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
