i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
