best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I could make wine with my vomit
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
