I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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